MEME

Here's a little something I stole from a friend of mine. If you're unfamiliar with a MEME, then basically, its n number of things you can/cant/want to do etc... This is extremely hard, as it can involve an amount of inner searching, and realisation of your own situation. I have trouble with all of these questions, as since my divorce back in 1999, I have become so open about myself, and already realised some of my fantasy's, so to complete 7 things I want to do, is pretty difficult as I have done a lot of them already. As I don't listen to myself, I don't really know what common phrases I say all the time, and to identify 7 things I cant do, well usually if I cant do it, then usually I don't need to be able to do it like laying carpet, I always get the carpet fitter in (much more fun watching somebody else doing it (evil grin).

7 Things I Can Do:

1. Put on a dress and still look like a 'bloke in a dress' to quote Eddie Izzard.


2. Reverse my car into a parking space without hitting anything !


3. Wear high heels and feel good about it.


4. Do-it-yourself maintenance (yes in heels as well).


5. Fall asleep anywhere, anytime (yes, I have fallen asleep in a night club before).


6. Put my foot in my mouth (in both the physical (toes anyway) and metaphorical sense).


7. Paint my nails really well.

7 Things I Can't Do

1. Give birth (I'm a guy after all).


2. Multi-task.


3. Hold my drink, I get drunk after 3 pints of beer, and legless after 4.


4. Remember things, I am memory challenged.


5. Put on mascara, it usually ends up down my cheek or smudged over my eyelid.


6. Ice skate, I have a bad sense of balance.


7. Sing.

7 Things I Constantly Say:

1. Oh bollocks.


2. Whatever.


3. Forget it !


4. I don't remember that !


5. Okey dokey.


6. Sorted.


7. Lovely jubley.

7 Things I'd like to do in my Lifetime:

1. Visit the many exciting places on my travel list.


2. Participate in a group orgy.


3. Be accepted in public when dressed as a woman.


4. Attend the Olympic games - not so much for the sport, more for the atmosphere.


5. Go to a Formula 1 race meeting - Yes I lived in Silverstone for several years and never went.


6. Fly on a supersonic jet.


7. Fly in a hot air balloon.

It Only Takes A Minute

This and the following post have come from my youngest daughter, shes only 14, but so grown up. These are both part of a chain mail which I dont do! its a waste of my time and everybody elses. However on reading the text, I felt it was worth publishing, and so if you wish to re-post, or copy and send around the world, feel free.
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They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.

15 Things You Probably Never Knew

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance.

15 Things You Probably Never Knew or Thought About

1. At least 5 people in this world love you so much they would die for you


2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.


3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.


4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.


5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.


6. You mean the world to someone.


7. If not for you, someone may not be living.


8. You are special and unique.


9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.


10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.


11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.


12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.


13. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.


14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.


15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

General People Descriptions

I got this from a work colleague, really funny. Ever been called any of these, well maybe I haven't, but quite often I feel like number 14.

1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.


2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.


3. A room temperature IQ.


4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.


5. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.


6. A photographic memory, but the lens cover is glued on.


7. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.


8. Bright as Alaska in December.


9. One celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.


10. Donated his body to scientists... Before he was done using it.


11. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.


12. Fell out of the family tree.


13. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.


14. Has two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.


15. He's so dense, light bends around him.


16. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.


17. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.


18. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.


19. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.


20. It's hard to believe that he beat 100,000 other sperm.


21. One neuron short of a synapse.


22. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.


23. Takes him 1.5 hours to watch "60 Minutes".

I did remove a couple as I felt they were too 'other' country originated, as I didn't understand them.. perhaps thats me just being number 17 though !
Enjoy.

A quick catch up

Well it must be 3 weeks since I last posted, and a lots happened since. So lets step back in time a wee bit.........

We went on holiday to Cyprus between 30 October and 6 November, we had a really great time even though the weather was lets say 'changeable' , we had warm days, some rain and lots of strong winds (weather wise, not ME). Anyway, in a previous post I suggested we may have some pictures of me on the beech to show you. Opps. Not so, Wifey was using her new digital camera whilst I was prancing around in a major olympic sized rock pool in just my bikini thong, and the pictures we ended up with were to say, well bit of rock, thumbs and me disappearing from the left side of picture....... She needs more practice, so I have volunteered to pose for her......

On the morning of our flight back, she gives me a major blood vessel burst in the left eye, looked really bad at the time, but is almost gone now. We had to buy a ruck sack to carry all our booze back, and it was whilst I was trying to put this on with wifey's help, that the incident occurred, knocking off my glasses and slicing into my eye.

Since returning from holiday, I spent the first week on a 5 day training course learning a new product, its really cool, but I wont bore you with the details (unless you really ask). Then my colleague at work (we are a team of 2), goes and gets pneumonia and spends several days hospitalized. They tested him for legionaires as he was not presenting the normal symptoms of pneumonia. Thank God he didn't have that. Anyway, he was pumped full of drugs (prescription drugs I add quickly, but I'm sure he would have been happy with some 'blow',), anyway, he is back home now and recovering well, and I'm really pleased for him to be getting over it so quickly, we've chatted a lot, over several days but in short bursts as he gets breathless quickly. So that means I am picking up his workload at the moment as well. Life's getting tougher.......

Then only Wednesday this week, I found my memory stick wouldn't work with my laptop anymore, I was getting distraught as I have some important documents on it which I would hate to loose. Ok all you IT people, I know I should make backups, and I will some day.......Anyway, I plugged the memory stick into my USB hub at home, and the laptop detects it just fine, what a relief.
Anyway, must go for now as much work to do, and have missed lunch to make this post.